Hire My Nephew

Tommy: dude, New York AI startups raised sixteen point seven billion last year. Dougie: sweet, I'm getting hired, twice. Scarf: (hiring barely moved.) Townsman: sixteen point seven billion! Hire my nephew! Abe: Mayor, did the jobs come? Mayor Dithers: ...yes. Abe: finance jobs grew zero point six percent! Tommy: I learned something today; the money came before the jobs. Dougie: so I'm early, pay me.

The money behind New York's AI boom has arrived faster than the jobs: AI start-ups there raised a record $16.7 billion of venture capital in 2025, second only to the Bay Area, yet employment through August 2026 rose just 0.6% in financial services and 0.04% in professional and business services and fell nearly 2% in information, and employers now want workers who can apply, deploy and supervise AI, by the business group's own report.

Starring

TommyDougieScarfAbeTownsmanMayor Dithers